Monday, September 5, 2011

The First Campaigner Challenge: Evening Begins

The First Campaigner Challenge is posted and ready for entries.  I am so excited about this entire event.  My level of excitement is possibly just a tad bit ridiculous.  As soon as I saw the challenge posted last night - I started gushing enthusiastically about it to my husband.  At first he was just smiling at me but then he actually started giving me some ideas.  Of course, I thought that was quite sweet.  I hope he'll be all right with the fact that I didn't actually go with any of his ideas, though.

Here is the first challenge, straight from Rach Writes:

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “The door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count.


If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: "the door swung shut." (also included in the word count)

For those who want an even greater challenge, make your story 200 words EXACTLY!
Without further rambling, here is my piece for the first Campaigner Challenge:

Evening Begins

     The door swung open and a swarm of brightly clothed, happily chattering children sprung free. They gathered their equally bright backpacks, lunch boxes and cast their eyes about for their adults. A big, chocolate brown pair met those of her mommy and she came running forward. After thrusting the stuff she’d just obtained at her mom, she asked, “Can we stay and play?”
     “Not today, sweetie. We have to pick up your sister and get groceries for dinner.”
     “Fine,” she sighed and her shoulders drooped in momentary sadness. Then she smiled sweetly and batted her dark lashes. “Can we get ice cream?”
     “Yes,“ laughed mom. “How was your first day of school?”
     “Fine.”
     “What did you do?”
     “I don’t know.”
     “Did you do math?”
     “Yes, a little.”
     “Did you do an art project?”
     “No. We’ll do one tomorrow.”
     “Do you sit near any of your friends?”
     “No. I sit next to a boy I don’t know.”
     By now mother and daughter were at their car. As the little girl buckled into her seat, mom asked, “Do you like your teacher?”
     “Of course,” said the smiling little girl. She stuck her tiny fingers in the handle and the door swung shut.



That was a lot of fun but I have to admit - a little hard.  I mean, 200 words? I am chatty in real life and in my writing.  I have a tendency to go on and on so 200 words was definitely a challenge.  I love it, though.  And now I can't wait to read the other entries!

17 comments:

  1. What a lovely little story. The first day at school can be so traumatic for both mothers and children alike.

    I love the children looking for 'their' adults. :)

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  2. I am chatty too so 200 words is hard. This turned out brilliantly though! I love all the "colors" and that things are bright and happy. The conversation is great. Sounds so much like me and my kids after the first day of school. :)

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  3. This is so sweet! Sounds like the conversation I had last week with my kinder, LOL Great take on the challenge.

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  4. Great example of dialogue. Good job!

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  5. Such a sweet story--sounds like the exchanges I have with my new kindergartner.

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  6. Perfectly captured the first day of school. I especially loved the children "springing free." Great job :)

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  7. Um, yeah...I'm 'chatty' as well. Like when I added an extra unnecessary 40k onto my contemporary romance novel...hehe

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  8. I liked this. I also ad ever tried a challege like this before. Mie is #72

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  9. Hello there! It was lovely to read a story about children that doesn't end in a dark way. Denise

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  10. This was a great example of real conversation with a kid!

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  11. "...a swarm of brightly clothed, happily chattering children sprung free."

    ...what a perfectly crafted description :)

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  12. cute slice of life. hope all their days are as happy!

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  13. Such a fun piece, and so perfect for this time of year. ;)

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  14. Oh, how sweet! I could hear her voice [g]

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  15. 200 words was really hard! My little granddaughter starts kindergarten next week..always makes me a bit sad when they go back to school. You did a good job..very real!

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